The Pain of the Lonely

There is no word to properly describe the pain of loneliness.
It's a deep ache that takes over your entire soul.
It's an all encompassing bodily scream that echos from within. Shaking one's core without making an audible sound.
The memory of touch tugs at your heart.
The memory of smell rocks your brain.
The pain remains regardless of surroundings.
Regardless of the number of people around you.
Much of the time, the ache of loneliness becomes multiplied exponentially with each new body in your presence.
You smile.
You laugh.
You listen.
You make them laugh.
You never tell.
You never show.
You never admit.
You cry.
You only cry alone.
You cry in bed.
In the dark.
Silently weeping.
Silently aching.
Your heart silently deteriorating...
Alone.

Failure

It's amazing how much I haven't tried in my life because of my fear of failure. It's amazing how much I haven't done because I'm afraid. Afraid of weakness, afraid of letting go, afraid of showing who I truly am. I wonder how much of that is due to past heartaches and heartbreaks and how much of that is ingrained in me deep within. I wonder what I could become, who I could be, what all I could give this world if I weren't afraid of failing.

© 2017 Kara Nelson